one of my oldest and dear friend has just diagnosed with lung cancer?
Question by wife in South Africa: one of my oldest and dear friend has just diagnosed with lung cancer?
and has been given two to 1 year to live….how do you deal with such a blow. currently she is in ICU and is not aware of what is wrong with her, a decision that was made by her son. what a sad, sad “conviction’! would you tell her or just let it be?
Best answer:
Answer by trynhelp
sorry to hear thatmy condolences to you and your friend. the best advice i can give you is to leave things as they are it is better that your friend not to know because it eases the burden of eventual happening and if your friend was to know now it would hurt for a very very long time i know i`ve been there
so sorry for you
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It’s her body, and her life. It certainly isn’t your place to tell her, though; leave that to her doctor anf family members.
If it was me, I’d certainly want to know. It may, however, be a moot point now, though– she’s already in the ICU.
she needs to be notified, it’s her life, she needs to make the decision on how to handle it, it’s no one’s decision but her’s. Now of course her son can make suggestions but not any hard decision on how the remainder of her life should be spent. My grandfather was just diagnosed with lung cancer about 3 weeks ago. This was a difficult thing for me to cope with because he and my grandmother practically raised me. Well turns out they caught it in the early stages and he has already undergone surgery to remove his lower left lobe, now we are just waiting on the results to see if it spread. So i feel where you are coming from, to have someone close to you going through so much pain, all you wanna do is drop everything and sit next to them and cater to their every whim, but this is a life changing diagnosis she needs to deal with, and i’m sure having you close by would make it much easier on her…good luck
I would ask her. Such a choice to know or not know should be hers to make. Perhaps when she is out of the ICU and not in such a critical condition would be the best time to share with her about her condition assuming she wishes that information.
My husband has pancreatic cancer and he has been given months to live. So I can relate to your question.
It is her life so you have got to tell her, even if it’s not what she wants to hear. Her son has to right to take from her the knowledge and decisions about her own health.
My mother in law was diagnosed with a year to live from lung cancer and she lived for 5. When the docs say a year to live it rarely ever means less than that.
Doctors will usually try to paint as grim a picture as possible so that whatever happens it looks like things are going better than expected.
No I’m not selling you anything, no books, no product, nothing.
Just please have your friend get on the Budwig Diet (FlaxOil + Cottage Cheese Mixture) and look at the results.
This is all I want you to do.
If she is in the ICU, have her use the Champagne with the mixture so her body can absorb it easier.
IJust have her try it for a few weeks.
Firstly, that is terrible news for you and you have my deepest sympathy. I have a lot of experience of people dying, and arising from that I have firm views on the best way to deal with it.
Secondly, it is up to your friend to ask the questions about her own health – nobody should be subjected to a shocking prediction of death without asking for the truth. It helps to remember that actually nobody knows when any one of us is going to die – it is possible that she may survive you. Doctors cannot say for sure how long she will live. I knew one person who was given 6 months to live with lung cancer and died the following day. I also know one who lived for 19 years with it – mostly with good quality of life, and another who lived for 7 miserable years…………
What counts most is the quality of life while she is alive. And in my experience, if there is little treatment available for her type of cancer, then an acute hospital is to be avoided as much as possible. If you have the opportunity to talk to her, I would encourage her to enlist some palliative care as early as possible. It really prolongs life, and many people who experience good hospice care say they were the happiest times of their lives. There is such love and care available, and such a positive and honest atmosphere..and these contributes hugely to the patient’s sense of wellbeing. The greatest pity I see in cancer care is not the death rate – its the dishonesty of putting people through difficult treatment with little hope of recovery. Better face the truth, and have a good quality of life – whatever time is left.
My most recent experience was of a dear friend, who after 29 days of 120 mile round trip for radiotherapy, was finally told he had hours or days at most to live. He enlisted the help of a hospice, and had 7 wonderful weeks at home, during which he married, and had many parties – albeit from his bed. His pain and distress – endured at this stage for months, was gone 24 hours into the new regime. He received massage, and lots of tlc – it was wonderful for his children and his family/friends who helped care for him.
I strongly recommend leaving the curative and cruel treatment behind at a certain stage, and enjoying the rest of what life can offer.
Hope this helps.
sorry to hear that, but there are possiblities she could live longer who know. but if you feel strongly that she should know or that she would want to know then you should tell her son that. i wouldnt come right out and tell her against her families wishes but you should convince them to let you or someone else to tell her. i went through chemo myself and almost died four times, if i were going to die i would have wanted to know. my cousin did die of cancer and he knew i think it helped him. so i think you should encourage her family to tell her. and just be there with her so when she finds out she doesnt feel alone.